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Adultery - The Healing Process - by Mary L. Weinstein

Can a woman survive being betrayed by her husband?


Yes.  Is it easy?  Heck no.  Is it better to get a divorce?  It all depends who you ask and on the situation.  Biblically, a woman has the right to divorce from an unfaithful husband.  Does God prefer reconciliation?  Yes, if there has been genuine repentance.  Both spouses have to try as a couple to make things work.  However, the unfaithful man must be remorseful about his acts.  He must be willing to deal with the consequences that result from adultery.  What consequences?  Keep reading.


A woman that has been betrayed will need a lot of time to be able to “trust” again.  The man must be willing to accept that.  Many men will not want to wait around for this to happen even though they are the one who cheated on the wife.  The man must be willing to stay accountable to his wife.  Men will see this as being on a “leash” or as having no privacy.  Again, they forget it was their actions that led to this place of distrust.  However, if a man wants to make his marriage work again, he must be willing to do these things.  He must be willing to sever ALL ties with the mistress even if it means moving, getting another job, etc. 


A woman will need time to heal, and this doesn’t happen quickly.  A man will say, “I already said I’m sorry, so get over it and move on.”  What a man fails to realize is that a woman will most likely take as long as the affair took in order to heal.  For example, if the affair lasted 3 years, the woman will need about 3 years to heal.  Some are quicker, some take longer (those who have a hard time forgiving). 


A woman never forgets the memories of the betrayal.  If it was a very painful time, things will stimulate a woman’s memories.  Thus she will relive those awful times and start hating him again!  That is why women must seek God with all their heart.  They must CHOOSE to forgive their husband WHEN they’re ready.  Once they’re ready, they must forgive on a daily basis.  Why?  Two reasons:  Forgiveness is a process.  And because it’s easy to fall back into the bitterness, anger and pain of what the husband did to them.  A woman must rely on the Holy Spirit to do a work in her.  She must renew her mind daily with the Word of God.  Pray a lot!!!  Most importantly, seek counsel  and find friends that are willing to help her go through the healing process without telling her that she’s crazy for staying with him.  She needs people who will not judge or criticize her decision to stay in the marriage. 


Mary L. Weinstein is a Certified Life Purpose Coach through Life Purpose Coaching Centers, Int'l.  She holds a Bachelor of Theology in Biblical Counseling from The King's College & Seminary.  She is an ordained Minister, Biblical Counselor and Bible Teacher.  Mary is the Founder and CEO of Friends with Purpose Ministries.  Her website is http://www.friendswithpurpose.com

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